Love Does Not Cause Pain
by ArmAndLeg
Summary: [AU] Earth is already taken over, and Tallests Red and Purple arrange marriages for kicks. In fact, Zim and Dib are their next victims. However, Dib has been going through tough times. Is this going to make his situation better, or worse?
1. "The Arrangement"

Warnings: A fic that begins out nice and fluffy can hide dark secrets, like this one. A slash fic, alternative HISTORY, and themes I rarely write about, because I feel so strongly against them. Trust me, this fic deserves its R rating. 

Background/Notes: Alternative HISTORY! It takes place on Earth, but the timeline is very different. Not to mention that Dib is currently 15 in this fanfic. This fic is best when you listen to Nickelback's "Silver Side Up," CD, for those who have it. There would be NO WAY I would have finished this fic so damn fast (five days, dead serious) if it weren't for that CD. Though, it IS independent from the CD; I made sure it was.

Disclaimer: I do not own them. I do, however, own the idea. And Jazz. 

Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter One:   
"The Arrangement"

Zim glanced around, staring at the vastness that was the _Massive_. He half-walked, half-ran to where he was needed. "Why did the Tallests call for _me…_?" he mumbled as he made his way there.

"Space-boy?! What are _you_ doing here?" a voice shouted from behind him.

"I should ask you the same thing, stink beast," Zim said, turning to face the human boy behind him. "I was sent for by the Tallests themselves."

"So was I," Dib responded. "I guess I'm being promoted from skool--I'm just too smart for a human."

Zim snorted. "_You_? Smarter than the rest of the pathetic human race? You wished." 

"Well, at least I was _not_ the shortest member of MY race…" Dib retorted, walking a head of Zim. "I don't want to be late, Zim, so keep quiet."

"I don't want to be later either," Zim mumbled as he followed the human in front of him. A human was generally now allowed on the _Massive_ unless… Zim stopped walking and shook his head. "It can't be…" he whispered.

Dib turned around and blinked. "It can't be what, space-boy?" Dib asked.

"Do you know of the arranged marriages?" Zim countered.

"Of course I do. My sister was arranged to marry your friend, after all. Why?" Dib returned, narrowing his eyes at Zim. "You don't think…?" 

Zim shuddered. "It's just a speculation, worm-baby, but I doubt that's what's going on…"

Sighing, Dib shook his head. "Well, whatever it is, it can't be something like _that_. I've never seen the Tallests make two males have an arranged marriage."

Zim remained silent, but continued to believe that his suspicions were correct. Though, the Dib-human was still smirking to himself. He couldn't believe that Dib was so naïve towards the ways of Irkens, and yet he'd lived with them all his life. "Stupid human…" he mumbled out of habit.

Dib glared at him. "I am not stupid, Zim!" he shrieked. 

"…" 

"What? Are you too high and mighty to speak with one of us 'lesser' human?" Dib asked.

"No, I just don't feel like talking," Zim replied. "Besides, you humans aren't lesser, you're _pathetic _when compared to the Irken race."

"Whatever," Dib said as he rolled his eyes.

The two walked down the long hall in silence, and Zim was still unable to shake off the dread he was feeling. Dib gave him an odd look.

"So…which room did they say they'd meet you?" Dib asked suddenly.

"The meeting room, just like everyone _else_, Dib," Zim responded. "Of course, since you're not Irken, you wouldn't quite understand that, now would you?"

Dib flushed slightly, then said: "Shut. Up. So _what_ if I'm not Irken, Zim! I'm _still_ a member of the Irken Empire, so treat me like an equal, at least!"

"There is nothing in the constitution that says I _have_ to treat you equally. I can if I want to, and I just _don't want to_," Zim stressed, glaring at Dib. Dib just sighed. "Well…we're here," Zim muttered, just as Red and Purple entered the room. 

"I see you and Dib made it here in one piece, Zim," Purple stated, acting utterly bored.

"Wow, you mean they _didn't_ get into some life-threatening battle?" Red asked.

"You owe me money, Red," Purple responded quietly, then turned towards Zim and Dib, smirking at them.

Zim shivered slightly, then bowed to his two leaders. "You asked for me, my Tallests?" he asked politely once he raised his head.

Dib sighed, then did the same, not bowing quite as long as Zim. "What is it that you wish to speak to me about, Tallests Red and Purple?"

Zim gave Dib a look. "Copy-cat," he muttered.

"Idiot," Dib retorted. 

Red and Purple exchanged glances, then smirked down at Zim and Dib. "You two are aware that you usually wouldn't be forced into the same room unless it was very important, right?" Purple asked.

"Yes, my Tallests," both Dib and Zim replied, glaring at each other the whole time.

"Purple, let's just tell them our idea already!" Red said, looking down at the two boys.

"Shhh! Red, we have to at least let them worry… Or it's not fun!"

Zim and Dib blinked at their shared leaders, uncomprehending of what was going on. Dib looked at Zim, then asked, "Are they always like this?"

"No! Don't be silly, human," Zim responded. 

"Anyway, we know how much you two generally don't like being in the same room, but Red and I have decided that, so as to cut down on public property damage, that you should be arranged to live together for the next few months," Purple stated finally…

And was met with blank stares from Zim and Dib. Finally, Dib's eyes widened in shock, and he muttered a collective about of curses--all in English instead or Irken so that the Tallests would not understand him.

"…I told you so…" Zim said to Dib finally.

"Be quiet, space-boy!" Dib hissed. "I just _hate_ it when you're right…"

"I guess you would hate me all the time, then," Zim said with a smirk.

Red and Purple snickered. "It is _not_ an arranged marriage by definition, but it is very similar," Red continued for Purple. "If Purple and I see that you two should be married, we will contact you. We're trying to cut down on property damage…and since the two of you cause most of it…"

"My Tallests," Dib interrupted politely. "Space-boy and I will not try to fight _if_ we are allowed to remain in our own homes. I do _not_ want to live with _him_."

"And why not? I'm a fine Invader, Dib. You should be _honored_ to—"

"Oh, just shut up your ego, will you? I'm tired of hearing how _great_ you are," Dib stated, rolling his eyes. "Besides, by the way you're talking, I'm beginning to think that you _want_ to live with me!" 

"He's got you there, Zim—OW! Purple, that hurt!" Red exclaimed as he rubbed his side.

"Dib, we know that you would try to get along. But take right now as an example: you and Zim can't stop bickering even in front of your leaders. You're a reasonably smart human, I'm sure you understand where Red and I are coming from," Purple explained calmly, ignoring his cohort.

Dib sighed, then kicked at the floor. "I understand, Sir," he mumbled.

"My Tallests…who would move in with who?" Zim asked, trying to ignore the human beside him. 

"Well, which place works best for you?" Red asked, still rubbing his side.

"It's something you'll both have to agree on," Purple added. "We'll call you back to see how it's going." 

Zim and Dib nodded, bowed, and turned to walk out of the room. Zim didn't even bother to say anything; Dib was cursing freely now that he was out of the presence of the Tallests, using a mixture of English and Irken.

"I never knew you knew so many curses, Dib," Zim muttered once Dib fell silent.

"I'm surprised _you_ haven't started ranting curses in every language you know," Dib stated. "This is so goddamn _wrong_. There is just no way in _hell_ I'll live with _you_."

"The feeling is mutual," Zim murmured. "I assume you'll be moving into my house, then," Zim added after a long period of silence. 

"Shut up. I'm only doing this because I was _ordered_ to. Even though I'd rather live with my father, I guess I have no choice _but_ to move in with you," Dib spat, trying to keep his anger in check and failing horribly.

"You do realize that the Tallests are only doing this so we can get _used_ to each other. They're going to make us get married."

"You think you just know _everything_, don't you? Just because you're Irken doesn't mean that I'm twice as stupid as you are because _I'm_ human. In fact, I believe it's the other way around, but that's just me…"

Zim glared at Dib once more, then sighed. "I can't believe I made a fool of myself in front of them…"

"And how is that different from any other day, Zim?" Dib asked as he jumped out of the way of a stray punch.

"Must you insult me every chance you get?" Zim asked.

"…Yes," Dib answered. "I'll meet you at your place… I guess we should get this over with."

"For once, I agree with you. If we put this off, then the Tallests might be more towards the whole…_marriage_…thingy," Zim replied, walking off in a different direction than Dib.

Dib sighed. "I don't think I'll ever get used to this…"

It was later that day and Dib was almost done packing his things. He sighed and lied down on his bed, hugging his only stuffed animal that he was NOT ashamed to own. No matter how old Dib was, he couldn't let go of the dog-like toy. It had been a gift from his mother.

But Dib knew that if he brought it, Zim was sure to make fun of him. "So what if he does?" Dib asked himself as he held onto the toy. "It's the only link to Mom that I have…" 

"Dib, I've been informed of the…arrangement the Tallests ordered. You want to talk about it?" Membrane asked through the door. 

"No, Dad. I'll be fine…it's only for a couple of months," Dib replied, taking his childhood relic and placing it in a random bag. "Zim promised not to kill me," Dib lied as he grabbed his things.

"Oh, well, just make sure you come and visit. I should go back down to the lab. I have to finish making the sporks better!" 

"Yeeeeeeah, all right, Dad," Dib said after a little bit of silence from his father. "You go do that. I _can_ fly a Voot Cruiser, you know," Dib stated finally. Dib said a quick good bye to his father and headed out of the house, towards his own Voot Cruiser (since Membrane refused to use them). Quickly and quietly, Dib stuffed all his things and flew off to Zim's house. 

Sighing, Dib realized this was going to be the last day he would be living with Membrane. He was going to live with an _Irken_. Dib made a face of disgust for a brief moment. Irkens were the very race that had, at first, captured the humans and made them their slaves. In fact, about a hundred years ago, there still were human slaves. Though, even if the slavery had ended, some Irkens still treated humans like dirt. Alicia: Gee, doesn't THAT sound familiar? If anyone can spot the history reference, I'll gives ya a cookie…

Zim just happened to be more overt with his opinions of the human race than most Irkens, and _that_ was why Dib couldn't bring himself to like Zim that much. Zim would have been one of those human slave owners, Dib could just tell by looking at him. But what gave Zim that kind of power, that _thought_ that he was greater than any "weak" human any day? The knowledge of the past on how it _used_ to be with humans and Irkens?

Like any other human being his age, Dib had relatives that had been slaves, and Dib was grateful that he didn't live in those times. But Dib couldn't help but to ask why. Why did the Irkens have to use the humans as slaves? Why did they have to make other races look so small and insignificant? Dib could sit there and bitch about equal treatment all wanted: He was a fourteen year old who had only dealt with one unruly Irken; who would actually sit there and listen to him? 

Especially since he was an outcast among humans and Irkens alike, Dib wouldn't even bother to open his mouth. He had learned the hard way that you had to be someone in order to be heard. And now, with an arranged life with one of his human race's oppressors, opening his mouth could do more damage than good. No matter what, thought, Dib was going to have to open his mouth sometime soon. It wasn't his nature to watch people get hurt.

He had to admit, though, that not all Irkens were like Zim. In fact, the Irken his sister Gaz had been forced to marry wasn't at all that bad of a guy, even if he was Zim's bestfriend. Gaz didn't really seem that happy about her arranged marriage, but Dib could almost sense that she was growing used to her new husband. 

Though, Dib knew he'd never get used to what _he_ was dealt. Something told him that the Tallests had not thought of him being with Zim as a safety precaution, but as an entertainment opportunity. Dib idly wondered how long he could go without uttering a single insult at Zim as he landed the Cruiser finally, and was almost instantly greeted by Zim. 

"It took you long enough," Zim stated as Dib walked out, carrying a few bags.

"Take at least _one,_ will you? And…damnit, Zim, you sound as if you were actually waiting me." Well…his no insulting Zim record had just been shattered—five seconds wasn't half bad for Dib. 

"I wasn't waiting for you. I was hoping that you would run away or something," Zim said as he reluctantly took a bag. "Holy Irk, what do you possibly need that's _this_ heavy!" Zim exclaimed.

Dib snickered. "A few bricks I was planning to throw at you," he responded nonchalantly. "And, honestly, that's my lightest bag…"

Zim growled at Dib. "How _dare_ you mock me?" 

"It's quiet fun, actually. You never relax enough to _enjoy_ anything," Dib said as he followed Zim.

"I enjoy beating you up…" Zim mumbled. 

Dib snorted. "If you call running away being someone up, Zim…"

"I only ran away that _one_ time when you had water!" Zim shrieked.

Dib continued to smirk, but his face fell as Zim began to look through his things. "Zim, those are _mine_! How would _you_ like it if I went searching through _your_ stuff?" Dib asked as he snatched the bag out of Zim's hands

"I have nothing to hide, Dib, so go right on ahead if you want to," Zim muttered. "Though, I doubt you would want to." 

Dib sighed. "Where should I put my things?"

"In my room—I have no spare rooms since I thought I'd never have to deal with another person living in my home," Zim responded, looking bored. "You should be able to find it, since you tend to sneak in through that room." 

Dib glared at Zim, then stopped. "Wait…does this mean this mean we'll have to…to…"

"Share a bed? By Irk, what is _wrong_ with you today, stinkbeast? Of course we're going to have to, but us Irkens don't need very much sleep, so I doubt we'll be in a situation where we'll have to sleep next to each other," Zim stated, giving Dib a look that he couldn't quiet figure out.

"That's…reassuring, I guess," Dib mumbled as he walked off to put down his things. "But, I suggest you do something about this—I do _not_ want to wake up one day to find you next to me." 

"I plan to make you your own room later on in the week. Don't worry, I hate this as much as you do."

"Yeah. For once we _agree_ one something," Dib said to himself, walking towards Zim's room. Of course, once he got there, Dib examined it, amazed by how…normal it looked. His eyes drifted towards a small black notebook. "No way…" Dib whispered, placing his heavy bags on the floor. He seemed almost drawn towards the notebook. "Zim…have a journal?" he continued to ask himself.

Though, as Dib examined it, he couldn't bring himself to open it. It would just be…wrong to open and read someone's journal—if that was what he was indeed holding. Zim did say that he could look through his things…and reading Zim's personal thoughts _was_ very tempting.

"I wonder if he's said anything about me…? Well, one peak wouldn't kill me…"

Dib opened the notebook just a crack, then closed it again. He couldn't bring himself to open it; he couldn't do something like read Zim's journal. It was a private object, one that could not—_should_ not—be viewed by Dib unless he had Zim's permission.

But…curiosity was always one of Dib's personality traits. He would ask Zim first, though, if he could get to Zim without throwing any insults at him. There was something weird about Zim actually having a journal. Sighing, Dib began to unpack his bags. This was going to take one long, long time to get used to.

Dib pulled out his homework and CD player as he sat down on Zim's bed. He blinked as he realized it was almost as soft as his own bed, but that didn't matter much. He needed to get his math homework done. Graph books were going to be collected tomorrow.

"Dib, what are you doing?" Zim asked as he walked into his room, a perplexed expression crossing his features.

Dib looked up at Zim just as he was placing his Nickelback CD into his CD player. "I'm about to do my homework. Mrs. Albers is being a bitch again, loading my class with tons of shit I can't even begin to understand," Dib responded distractedly, placing his headphones on his ears.

"What kind of shit?" Zim asked, looking at the textbook thrown in front of Dib. "This should be easy for a 'smart' human like yourself," Zim continued with a smirk.

"Math is _not_ my strong point, space-boy. So do you mind? I'm trying to understand this…"

"Would you mind if I tried to _help_ you for once?"

The question went unheard since Dib turned up the volume to his CD player, unable to hear Zim. Zim sighed and shook his head. "How could he sit there and _listen_ to that?" Zim mumbled as he walked out of his room. He glanced back at Dib and smirked to himself as he watched Dib do his homework. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad for him, after all….

Okay, I'm leaving it off there. The next chapter should be up…Let's say Sunday. Have a nice night, y'all. Don't forget to review, though. ^_^;;


	2. "Skool Troubles"

Warnings: I think I covered these rather well in the first chapter. There are themes that will be showing up in this fic rather, rather soon that I can't believe I decided to write about. I scared myself. How's THAT for a warning? Angst, soon-to-be-slash, and a theme that I can't believe I'm writing about. (I won't even say it until later… Like, in chapter three…)

Notes/Disclaimers: I don't OWN them, damnit, so stop buggin' me about it. I DO own Jazz, and he DOES make an appearance in this chapter. 

  
Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter Two:   
"Skool Troubles"

Zim sighed. He had no idea that there was so much difference between Irken and human lifestyles. Dib was rushing about for what almost seemed no reason at all.

"I have to get ready for _skool_, Zim!" Dib nearly shrieked as he stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth. "If I'm late…"

"Why do you humans have to go to this…'skool' of yours?" Zim asked.

"The same reason why _you_ Irken Invaders go to The Academy—to learn things to help us build our lives. Though, at least _we_ get to stay on our own planet…" Dib mumbled through the toast, putting on his boots and tying the laces quickly.

Zim blinked. "But…I finished my training years ago…"

Dib took the toast out of his mouth, swallowed what was left of the bite he took, and then said: "Humans take a longer time to learn what we need to know for our careers. Bye!" Dib waved slightly as he grabbed his bookbag and rushed out of the house.

Shaking his head, Zim noted to himself that he was never going to understand Dib. One minute the human boy could sit there and do nothing but insult him—like last night—and then there were times like this morning. But Zim knew one thing: _never_ get in a human's way to his food. That practically meant death, and a horrible one at that by the way Dib was acting when Zim almost took his toast.

Though, Zim wished he could have his room to himself like before. Sharing one with Dib was weird, and Zim learned really fast that Dib was _not_ the neat human Zim had thought he was. Why, Dib had only spent one night in Zim's room, and the half that the human had occupied was a complete and utter mess. How could Dib _live_ in a room that unorganized. 

And Dib was ignoring all of Zim's attempts to be civil. Zim figured that, if they were really going to live together against their will, they could at least _try_ to get along with each other. Dib, on the other hand, seemed to think otherwise. Whenever Zim was in the same room as Dib, Dib wouldn't even look at him unless Zim made himself known. And even then, if Zim didn't respond fast enough, Dib would snap, "Go away!" at him.

It seemed as though there would never be a time where Dib would at least let Zim talk to him. That didn't bother Zim too much, considering the fact that he was seeing the human more often than he had wanted to. Zim couldn't shake the fact that Dib was acting so cold towards him, even though he had expected the human to be distant at first.

"Hey Zim, you home?" a voice called through the house.

"Jazz! What a pleasant surprise," Zim said as he walked towards the front of the house.

"I heard about what the Tallests did to you… I'm surprised your house is still standing," Jazz stated as he looked down at Zim. "Is Dib being any more civil towards you?"

"Are you still afraid of Gaz?" Zim returned, smirking slightly when Jazz's antennae fell slightly.

"Well… I'm not _as_ afraid of her… For a human, she can be rather strong," Jazz admitted after a little while.

"_Don't_ let her boss you around, Jazz. She's just a _human_," Zim stated, giving his friend a look.

"You don't understand, Zim. Gaz could flatten me in an instant!" Jazz exclaimed. "And I have the scars to prove just how vicious she can be!"

"So what? You're an _Irken_, Jazz. We used to have the humans as _slaves_."

"Well, I believe that human beings _aren't_ below us, and you know that I never have, Zim," Jazz stated.

"You still shouldn't let her control you."

"And everyone is afraid of her because she's got this ability to make your life a living _hell_," Jazz continued.

"How so? She's just a human," Zim said simply, as if that was all he ever needed to know.

"She has her ways, Zim," Jazz stated.

Zim sighed. "Well… Dib hasn't been talking to me since he's…moved in," Zim said, trying to change the subject.

"Isn't that better than usual?" Jazz asked, blinking his light blue eyes.

"It's better in many ways. For instance, I don't have to put up with his insults… But…it's so…_wrong_ to see him this quiet."

"Does he seem to…just not care that you're around?" Jazz asked.

"Yeah, exactly," Zim responded. 

"Gaz did the same thing when she first moved in…then I broke her GameSlave," Jazz muttered, subconsciously rubbing a scar on his arm. 

"It's funny how much those two act alike… But, then again, they are related," Zim said as he sat down on the couch.

"She's growing on me," Jazz said quietly, almost more to himself than to Zim.

Zim blinked at his friend. "What?"

"Gaz. She's…growing on me. I mean…"

"It would make sense, since you're so afraid of her… But, Jazz, she's a _hu_—"

"Don't finish that, Zim, just don't," Jazz interjected. "I _know_ what she is, but Red and Purple made me marry her… It's kind of hard for me _not_ to get to know her. I figured you would at least try to understand, since you are my bestfriend," Jazz stated.

"Do you think that…you might be…falling for her?" Zim asked after a little while, trying to sound friendly. He had heard the desperation in Jazz's voice, no matter how much Jazz probably had tried to hide it from him.

"…Yes," Jazz whispered. "I know you don't like the idea, Zim."

"Don't worry about it. If you had said 'no,' I would have known you were lying, anyway. At least you can be honest with me."

"I wouldn't want to lie to you, anyway… Zim, you do realize that Red and Purple were lying to you and Dib about your 'living arrangement'? They really are going to make you marry him, you know."

"I know," Zim replied. "I figured that they wouldn't just keep it as a living arrangement… Dib, however, does not know. He's certain that he will only have to live with me for a few months. And no matter how much I want to believe the same, I know better," he continued, looking down at the ground.

"Are you going to try and convince him that you are going to have to get married?" Jazz asked, blinking at Zim.

Solemnly, Zim shook his head. "He doesn't want to hear the truth just yet."

"You sure know a lot about him," Jazz stated, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "You must at least like him in the littlest way…"

"Take that back, Jazz!" Zim shouted. "I would never, _ever_ like a human being! They're weak, shallow, incompetent—"

"Gaz would sooo try to prove you wrong if she were here," Jazz said calmly.

Zim glared at Jazz for a moment, then relaxed a little. He _had_ to stop doing that. "I only know him so well because he's my enemy. You have to know those things so you can seek out weaknesses," Zim said once he knew he was calm enough to say anything and not scream it.

"Zim…you'd be surprised about humans. They aren't as weak or shallow or incompetent as you think they are. Try getting to know Dib, or at least don't argue with him every chance you get," Jazz advised.

"As long as he tries as hard as me, then maybe I will. When do you have to leave, anyway?" Zim asked.

"Well, Gaz is going to get home from 'skool' soon… I don't know what she'd do to me if I wasn't home… Maybe rant my antennae out…like usual," Jazz said.

"Would you know if she and Dib go to the same skool?" 

"I would think they do… They are brother and sister, after all."

Zim nodded, then blinked as Dib walked through the front door. The human stopped walking, blinked back, then shook his head as he continued to walk. "Skool was released early…" was all that Dib said as he passed Zim, looking down at the ground. "I'll be in our room, doing homework."

Jazz turned and raised an invisible eyebrow at Zim. "'_Our_' room?"

"Shut. Up," Zim hissed, glaring at his friend. "This house was only meant for one Irken!"

"Chill, Zim… I guess I should go now…"

"No, you can stay here, Jazz," said a female voice from behind them. "I have to make sure Dib is alright. Skool wasn't really released early," Gaz stated, strangely quiet and calm.

Zim glared at the human standing before him. He studied her for a moment, then winced as Jazz hit him in the back of the head. Zim gave his friend a look in return, but Jazz just shook his head. 

"Why? What happened?" Jazz asked, looking concerned. Zim blinked at his friend.

"Like you Irkens would understand," Gaz mumbled as she followed her brother.

Zim and Jazz both exchanged glances, and Zim noticed that Jazz looked slightly hurt. "Do you have _any_ idea what she's getting at?" Zim asked finally.

"No clue… She's pissed, though. Something had to have happened," Jazz stated.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Jazz."

Gaz walked back into the living room and glared at Zim. "Zim, I know you hate being in the presence of a human, but listen and listen good. Dib went through hell today. _Leave him alone,_" she growled.

"Hell?" Zim asked.

"Yes. I don't feel like going into detail, Zim. If Dib feels as if he wants to talk, don't start throwing insults at him," Gaz continued to order, her glare baring such an intensity that Zim could see _why_ Jazz was afraid of her. "C'mon, Jazz, let's go home."

Jazz sighed and waved to Zim. "See ya tomorrow, Zim," he said as he got up.

"Bye, Jazz…" 

Dib just sat there, staring at the wall in front of him intensely, as if he was trying to take in every detail of it. He was only staring to distract himself from his thoughts. "I…can't believe this…" Dib mumbled. Sighing, he pulled out his stuffed toy and placed it in front of him. 

"I wish I could talk to mom about this," he said to the dog toy, as if it would respond. "She'd understand. Why does Dad have to send me to _that_ skool?" Dib smiled for a moment, though the sadness didn't leave his eyes. He had to distract himself somehow, and talking to his toy was perfectly distracting…but his thoughts on what had happened kept coming back to him. 

He had no one _real_ to talk to about it; at least, no one he could trust enough to talk about it with. His mother, maybe…but she was almost completely unreachable. Once that thought made itself known to Dib, the fifteen-year-old had to tell himself not to think about it. His mother wasn't gone, yet…she still had enough time left in her life for his father to find a cure.

At least, that was the lie he had told himself over and over again for the past year and a half. Sighing, Dib finally let a tear fall. His mother, according to many doctors, only had a few weeks of left to live. He had always been under the impression that she was getting better, and that Membrane was close to finding that cure for her illness. 

He had been wrong.

"You know, I wish I could see her again," Dib whispered. "But Dad won't let me see her. I want to see mom before she…" he couldn't bring himself to say it. No boy should lose his mother to some disease, Dib thought sourly. Membrane wasn't that good of a father. Sure, the man had his heard in the right place, but…

A soft known on the door was heard, snapping Dib would of his haze of thoughts. For a moment, Dib couldn't comprehend what he had to say. He hastily wiped away his tears and let out a shaky: "Come in." Dib didn't even blink when Zim walked into the room they shared. "You didn't have to knock, you know," Dib muttered.

"Well, I was _trying_ to be polite," Zim mumbled, giving Dib an odd stare. "Are…are you…?"

Dib blinked again and squeezed his stuffed animal for a moment, then realized that Zim had seen it. "Am I _what_, Zim?" he croaked out finally, trying to give Zim one of his better death glares while attempting not to cry.

"Nevermind. You probably wouldn't want to talk to me, anyway," Zim stated strongly. "I just needed to get something," Zim added as he walked across the room and pulled out his black notebook. 

"Don't you have anything to say?" Dib asked suddenly, remaining where he was on the bed.

"Like what? Do you _want_ me to tease you or something? …And, don't bother to wipe your eyes; I can tell you've been crying. You humans don't hide your emotions too well," Zim said as he headed out of the door.

"I guess it's a sign of _weakness_, huh?" Dib asked, but Zim had already shut the door to their room. Sighing, Dib placed his stuffed animal down, then rested his head on the pillow. He needed to sleep since he hadn't slept too well in the past week. Though, that was because he just couldn't. He could never stop thinking about how he wished his mother were better, or how…_he_ treated him at skool. 

Most of the kids just teased him, but there was that one group that was just plain horrible to him. Dib winced slightly as he sat up. His back was killing him, not to mention that every other part of his body that had been beaten was screaming every time he moved. Slowly, so as he wouldn't aggravate his upper torso, Dib pulled off his trench coat and shirt. The air around the bruises and cuts felt nice, somewhat, but Dib wished he had some Advil right now. 

Dib looked at the inside of the shirt, surprised by the small amount of blood that was on it. "I was…sure I was hurt worse this time…" he muttered, putting the shirt back on. This wasn't as bad as he had thought it was, but it was still painful. He never had taken a worse beating from Jay and the others. Well, mostly Jay…the others tended to just watch or hold him down. 

Dib walked out of the room and sighed. He was going to have to talk to someone, and the only person who he could trust enough was his mother. His father was almost always too busy to talk to him, and Zim just wouldn't understand. But, Dib had to say something, and Zim was the closest person to him. 

"Oh, I see you finally left our room," Zim mumbled as he continued to write in his notebook. 

Dib sighed. "It's nice to actually have someone notice me walk into a room…" he thought out loud to himself. 

"What was that?" Zim asked as he looked up. Dib didn't like the look he was getting.

"Don't pity me, Zim, for whatever reason," Dib ordered quietly, trying to sit down on the floor. His legs just collapsed underneath him as he did so.

"You don't look so good. In fact, you look like you've been through hell and back," Zim stated, taking a long look at how Dib was holding himself. 

Dib forced himself to stay sitting up. "What about it?"

Zim sighed. "Gaz ordered me not to make you do anything you don't want to do…"

Dib raised an eyebrow. "You're actually going to listen to a _human_?"

"…" 

Dib somehow managed to smile at Zim's silence. "I don't blame you… Gaz really knows how to make your life horrible…. I wonder if she'll do anything to Jay…"

"What did he do to you?" Zim asked, acting as if he didn't care.

Dib remained silent and looked down at the ground. _Why did I say anything?_ he thought. Sighing, Dib forced himself not to blurt out everything. "He's just one of the many jerks I know," Dib said quietly. 

"He's human, right?"

"Of course his is," Dib said, giving Zim a look. "He…treats me much, much worse than you do," Dib blurted out.

Zim looked up from his notebook again. "What do you mean, human?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it," Dib stated, glaring at Zim.

"Then why did you even bring it up?"

"Because I'm not thinking straight. Do you have any Advil?" Dib asked, suddenly. "I have a horrible headache."

"No, I don't…"

Dib sighed again. "Great, not only am I in pain, but I don't have anything to do about it…" 

"It might hurt less if you were to talk about what happened to you today," Zim suggested, finally putting down his pen. 

"Why do you care so much, Zim? It's nothing I haven't dealt with before," Dib said, glaring at Zim.

"But you want to talk about it. I can tell," Zim stated, pointing the pen at Dib. "Plus, whenever happened to you had to be worse than usual, since I've _never_ seen you cry before," Zim continued.

Dib sighed again and lay down on his back, instantly regretting the action. "Damnit," he hissed as the pain laced through his back. "It was only stress, Zim. Don't worry about it." 

"Stress over what, Dib?" Zim asked. 

"Everything. This arrangement, skool, Jay, my family…trying to be myself in a world where being yourself can be deadly," Dib mumbled. "Especially if you're gay," he whispered to himself.

Zim blinked. "You're…?"

Dib's eyes widened as he realized that he had said. Slowly, he forced himself up again and glared at Zim. "I _don't_ want to talk about it." 

Zim sighed. "Alright, fine, I won't pressure you into telling me what happened. But, Dib…you're going to have to trust me, sooner or later," Zim stated. 

"I trust no one but my mother… and I won't even have her, soon," Dib mumbled.

"Why not?"

Dib got off the ground. "She's just not going to, Zim," he continued to mumble. "Don't worry about me, I should be fine once Dad finally transfers me to a different skool…."

"And why is that?"

"Don't _worry_ about me, alright? Once I get away from my skool, I won't have to worry about getting killed."

"I take it you're exaggerating," Zim mumbled as he looked back down at his notebook.

Dib sighed…. _If only you knew, Zim…_

Yes. I am leaving it off there. I'm such a horrible, horrible person. Well…can you please read an' review? It'll make me happy. ^_^


	3. "The Hospital Visit"

Warnings: More angst, and my theme of healthy vs. unhealthy love is coming up. Yes, that is my theme. I DID write this in celebration to Valentine's day, in my own, twisted sort of way. In fact, more than half of this fic was written on V-day. O_o. 

Notes: Eh, I think this is coming along rather nicely… 

Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter Three:  
"The Hospital Visit"

Zim walked into his room and sighed. He really needed to get some sleep. As he walked towards what used to be his bed, he noticed that Dib was sprawled across the mattress, his headphones still on his eats, music blasting loud enough so that Zim could hear it. Zim shook his head and sat down on the side of the bed that Dib had managed not to take up.

"Zim…?" Dib mumbled as he opened an eye. He took off his headphones. "What time is it?"

"About five. Why?"

"I plan to go to…skool today," Dib replied, yawning.

"After what happened yesterday? Dib, you should stay home."

Dib was suddenly wide-awake. He shivered slightly and Zim blinked. "I can't stay home. He'll come and find me… While I'm at skool, at least I have some way to stay safe…" Dib said.

"You could stay here," Zim stated again in a stronger voice.

"Why are you so set on making me stay here, Zim? I'll be fine! Nobody really hurt me yesterday," Dib said, narrowing his eyes at Zim as he sat up on the bed.

"…" 

"I _wasn't_ hurt, Zim," Dib whispered again.

Zim lightly put a hand on Dib's back, and Dib winced and pulled away from him. "You _weren't_ hurt?" Zim asked quietly, unfazed by Dib's reaction.

Dib glared at Zim. "That's not as bad as I'm used to…" he said through clenched teeth.

"If it wasn't so bad, then why were you sent home?" Zim asked. 

"…The nurse and principal sent me home. I've been…beaten up a lot of times before. I'm used to it."

"How could you get used to it?" Zim asked. "I may understand how much you _don't_ want to talk to me about it, but you _aren't_ going to get off without tell me. You may be my enemy, Dib, but, in a way, you are also my friend. And I may not come across as a feeling creature, but I know when someone is in pain." 

Dib looked down at the headphones in his hands, suddenly looking much, much more tired than he had been letting on. Sighing, Dib whispered: "Why do you care?" 

"I don't want to lose my only enemy. You're the only human who would ever stand up to me," Zim said. "Plus, you're hiding much, much more than you are letting on. I'm _going_ to find out what is happening in your life, even if it kills me." 

"…I don't want you to get to me. I _don't_ want a friend. I just want to be left alone, Zim, to be treated equally by humans and Irkens. I once learned about what the Earth was like before the Irken Armada had arrived, and I realized this planet hasn't changed much… In fact, it seems as though history is repeating itself," Dib said in a hoarse voice.

"You want a friend, Dib. Now get some sleep; you need it. And go easy today, according to my medical computers, your back is horribly bruised, not to mention that you have cuts laced all over your body."

"You have medical computers?"

"Yes. I had them scan you while you were sleeping. My lab is underground, and that's why you haven't seen a trace of it," Zim explained.

Dib nodded, then tried to lay back down on the bed, then turned over on his side. "'Night, Zim…"

"Dib, I'm extremely tired, and even though I said you wouldn't have to share the bed with me… I lied," Zim forced himself to say.

"If you really need the sleep, I'll let you this once," Dib mumbled, making sure his back was facing Zim.

Zim nearly collapsed onto the bed. "'Night, human," he mumbled. 

Dib woke up and looked next to him to see that Zim was still sleeping next to him. He had to admit, Zim was all right…some of the time. Dib sighed and looked away from the sleeping alien. There was no way he was going to stop thinking about what he had said to Zim. 

Slowly, Dib got out of the bed and picked up his CD player and headphones. He didn't want to wake Zim up; though, Dib thought that would be very fun to do. But…Zim must have been really tired or something because he had _never_ spoken to him like that before. Zim seemed almost kind; he almost seemed to actually care about him.

And _why_ did that bother Dib so much? Why did Zim act that way towards him, though they had been enemies the whole time they've known each other? Dib stretched and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at his CD player. He had nothing to do, and he was rather bored. Carefully so as to not wake Zim up, Dib placed the headphones on where Zim's ears would be if he were human

Zim barely twitched.

Dib relaxed. He pulled the CD player with him, making sure that he didn't make a sound. Slowly, Dib turned it on and raised the volume ever so slightly. Zim's eyes fluttered. Dib couldn't help but to snicker. 

"He's going to kill me for this, but…" Dib turned the volume up all the way really quick, and Zim all but flew out of the covers. Dib laughed as Zim glared at him for a moment, then pulled off the headphones. 

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" Zim shrieked.

Dib still laughed, obviously unable to answer. Once the last of his giggles subsided, he looked up at Zim apologetically. "I'm sorry…I was bored. You should have realized that with me here and having nothing to do was going to be a bad thing…" Dib snickered. "You should have seen how wide your eyes got."

"I'm _so_ glad you found that amusing," Zim muttered, yawning. "How long have you been trying to wake me up?"

"Only a few minutes. You can go back to sleep if you want…or you can kill me," Dib said as he smiled.

Zim blinked. "Are you feeling better or something? You…"

Dib sighed. "I tend to feel better once I get some sleep," he said quietly. "Plus…this is the first time I've had the day off from skool in a long time. Maybe I should go visit my mother," Dib said as his eyes clouded over slightly. 

"I thought you said your mother was gone…?"

"She's…dying," Dib said with a great deal of difficulty. "My father's been trying to find a cure for whatever she has, but he hasn't come up with anything. I haven't been able to see her in a while, and I've been told she only has a few weeks left…"

"Which hospital does she currently stay in?" Zim asked.

"The one down the street from my skool. It's not that far of a walk," Dib said. "I think I'll go now."

"I'll go with you," Zim said finally.

"You don't have to do that. It's practically 'humans only'. You wouldn't want to be seen in such an area," Dib muttered, glaring at Zim for a bit.

"I think I'll be able to stand it, somehow," Zim responded curtly, standing next to Dib. 

"You're not doing this because of what happened yesterday, are you?" Dib asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Look, I want to get to know you a little bit better. If I'm going to _live_ with you, I might as well get along with you," Zim stated. "And you said you really wanted to visit her. Maybe she'll be happy that you were forced to be with someone," Zim said with a smirk.

"I don't know… Mother has a big dislike for Irkens," Dib remarked, smirking himself.

Zim walked over to Dib. "Let's go now, so that we don't get weird looks from people…"

"Alright."

The two walked out of the house together, both silent. Dib walked a bit ahead of Zim, leading the way to the hospital. His mind briefly wondered if anyone in his skool would see him, and as soon as he did that, he became a bit paranoid. What if Jay was out skipping class again? And if he is, what if he _sees_ Dib? 

"Dib? You-who, Dib," Zim said, waving a hand in front of Dib's eyes.

Dib blinked, then blushed slightly. "I'm sorry, I had a paranoid moment…"

Zim quirked an invisible eyebrow, then shook his head. "You humans are so weird…"

"No, we're not!" Dib shrieked. He stopped and looked around, hoping that no one heard him. "Keep your voice down when you say something about us. There are people around here that'll lynch you, Zim for that," Dib warned.

"Well, what do you know? Lookie, boys, it's the fag," a voice drawled from off to the side.

Dib jumped at the voice and instantly felt his blood become like melting ice in his veins. "Oh, God… Please don't let him—Yipe!" Dib felt his back get flattened against the wall, and shouted in pain. "J-Jay…please…"

"Release the human," Zim ordered, glaring at the fairly well built blonde human that help Dib by his shoulders.

"Get _out_ of here, Zim!" Dib hissed, then flinched as Jay pushed him against the wall with much more force.

"Why are you so worried 'bout an _Irken_, Dibby?" Jazz cooed, causing the two boys around him to laugh.

"I'm not _worried_ about him! I told him…not to come here," Dib managed. "Can you…stop pushing me so hard? I would like to go without some new bruises."

"Did ya hear that, Torque?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, want me to beat him up like we did yesterday?"

"Naw… I think we should finish what we were going to do before," Jay responded. He grinned wickedly at Dib. "I bet you'll like it…"

"Dib, I'm not about you to leave you here with these idiots," Zim stated calmly. He walked up to Jay and tapped him on the shoulder. Once Jay turned around to glare at him, Zim punched him squarely in the nose.

Dib's eyes widened considerably. "Zim! You _idiot_!" he shrieked before he began to run away.

"What? I was only trying to protect…you…" Zim trailed off when he saw that the two other boys were ganging up around him. "Honestly…" he mumbled. Dib watched as Zim used his mechanical legs and jumped over and out of the way of the boys. 

"C'mon, Zim! Let's get out of here!" Dib yelled as he grabbed Zim's hand and dragged him away before Jay or the others could realize what happened. Once Dib thought they were far away enough, he let go of Zim and leaned against a wall, being very careful about his back, trying to catch his breath. "That…was too close…for comfort," he gasped out.

Zim gave Dib a look that made Dib recoil from him, thinking that he had done something wrong. "Why did you _run_, Dib?" he asked.

"They were going to…_rape_ me," Dib said finally, looking down at the ground, trying to hide his forming tears from Zim. 

"I wouldn't have let them…" Zim growled.

"Zim… This is much, much worse than people think it is. Once my dad realizes what's going on, he'll transfer me to a different skool. The reason that I was sent home yesterday was because some one managed to walk in the boys' bathroom moments before…" Dib sniffed, leaving the sentence unfinished. By now, Dib was visibly shaking, by both fear and his tears. "Jay…Jay was an…ex-boyfriend of mine…" Dib slide down the wall and managed to stay sitting up, though all he wanted to do was lay down and get some sleep. 

"Let me guess… You broke up with him because he was abusive, right?" Zim asked, looking down at Dib. His usually hard magenta eyes softened slightly as Dib placed his head in his hands; the human's shoulders the only things that were shaking on him now.

"This was a bad idea… Let's go home before Jay finds us," Dib mumbled as he sniffed, then wiped his eyes. _Ugh, I can't believe I'm crying in front of Zim._

"No. You said you wanted to see your mother. I did _not_ walk into stinkbeast territory just to go home. Now, c'mon, get up and stop your sniveling. Your mother wouldn't want to see you like this," Zim said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dib sighed and got up slowly. "If Jay finds us…"

"Don't worry about him, Dib. He wants to see you fear him, and so far you're giving him what he wants. Obviously, this is his way to get you back for ending your relationship. You don't want anything to do with him because of his over-aggressive nature, and _that_ was why you let him go. And I correct?"

Dib stared at Zim for a moment. 

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Zim said. "Now, if I'm right, why don't you try to run away from him? Or struggle?" 

"He'll do worse," Dib answered simply, shivering. "If I struggle, it'll be like suicide. I just learned to put up with his abuse while we were with each other." 

"Dib, you can't be afraid of him all your life!" Zim said forcefully. "The more you cower in fear, the more confidence he gains! One day he just _might_ kill you," Zim added.

"Like you would mind if I died," Dib mumbled.

"Believe it or not, Dib, I'm positive that I would mind. You aren't like most human beings, you're actually a very understanding and emotional person. And in all the years I've known you. I've never seen you this afraid of _any_thing."

"I'm _not_ as strong as you think I am," Dib said, sighing. "Please, let's not bring this up around my mother?" he asked as they walked into the hospital.

"Young man, shouldn't you be in skool?" a nurse asked.

"Look, I know I'm supposed to be in skool, but my friend made me stay home because of something that happened. I would like to see my mother, Mrs. Membrane," Dib said quickly, looking at the woman.

"Your Irken _friend_ can't come in here," the nurse said in English.

"I can understand English, you know," Zim stated, clearing his throat. "Besides, I have to follow the Dib-human around, the Tallests gave us orders to spend a few months together," Zim continued.

"You mean…the Tallests made you two take part of an arranged marriage?"

Dib felt his eats get warm and Zim glared at the woman poisonously. "Can you please just take us to my mother?" Dib asked politely after a little bit, giving Zim a look.

"Right this way…"

Dib glanced at all of the walls. He hated the color white. Hated it because nothing was ever as pure as it was, _nothing_. White was just not the color of a hospital; black would have been a much more appropriate color. Black fit almost every situation perfectly, in some way or another, and a hospital fit the color black more than white.

"Here you are," the nurse said. "She's not exactly in top condition, but…"

"I know. You're trying to do the best you can to make her comfortable," Dib rambled off as he walked into the room, followed closely by Zim.

"Hey, it's my buddy," a woman with reddish purple hair said as she sat up in her bed. 

"How are you, mom?" Dib asked, managing to smile.

"I keep hearing that I'm 'doing better,' but doctors like to lie. I know that I'm not…going to be around much longer."

"It sucks, mom. Dad won't let me come visit you anymore. In fact, I'm lucky I got past those friends of dad's… And, well, did he tell you about what the Tallests did to me?" Dib glanced at Zim, then motioned him to come over.

"Let me guess… they arranged a marriage for you?"

"It's not really a marriage, but it's close enough. They're making me live with Zim."

Dib's mother's eyes finally focused on Zim, and Dib briefly wondered if Zim had some wise-ass remark. "Him?" was all she asked.

"Yeah…"

"Is he treating you okay? I remember how you used to come into here and cry because of how that Jay-character treated you. I always knew he was trouble…" she stated.

"I haven't touched Dib in anyway. I am as against our arrangement as he is," Zim stated.

"That's good to know… But Dib didn't seem to hate you so much. I believe he used to love your arguments and fights because you were too stupid for your own good," she said, giggling just slightly.

"Mom…" Dib groaned. "Stop it…"

Zim just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the wall. "I am _not_ stupid," he muttered.

"I like this one, Dib, you should keep him around for a while. He's not half bad for an Irken. Cute, too," she said with a wink.

Dib blushed as Zim gaped at the female human in front of him. "_Mother_!" 

His mother only giggled. "The Tallests sure do have good taste. Jazz is going to be really good for your sister. Maybe he can actually tear her away from her GameSlave."

"Jazz _is_ starting to like her," Zim mumbled.

"And how would you know that, Zim?" both Dib and his mother asked.

"I'm Jazz's bestfriend, he told me so himself," Zim said proudly.

"Well, I'm glad. I would feel just horrible if Gaz had been forced to marry someone like Jay," she stated. "And I'm glad that my son is going to be okay too…"

"Actually—"

"Zim, I can handle it, and she doesn't need to know," Dib hissed at Zim, cutting him off.

"Need to know what?" 

"Your son is still being hurt by Jay," Zim replied before Dib could stop him.

She glanced at Dib's face for a moment. "Well, protect Dib from him, Zim. I'd ask my nutcase for a husband the same, but Membrane is just 'too busy,'" she said with a sigh. "My son could use someone like you in his life, Zim. You seem like a nice Irken, though you don't give much of a damn about us humans. I know that you'll at least try to take care of him."

"Mom… I don't think Zim could protect me… He's Irken and he doesn't have to go to skool! Jay doesn't care about what kind of rule he's breaking, he'll hurt me anyway."

"And Zim should be able to protect you, someone. Trust him, Dib. I know you don't trust people easily, but you have to try. Besides, if the Tallests do make you marry each other, you'll at least be friends. That should make life a bit easier."

Dib sighed, kissed his mother on the forehead, and said: "Thanks for the advice, mom, I'll be sure to use it. I…I hope dad will somehow find a cure for you… Bye," Dib said. "C'mon, Zim."

"Bye Dib! Zim, treat Dib to somethin' when you guys get home, and don't let that punk Jay hurt him!"

"I think… I like your mother, Dib," Zim said as he followed Dib.

"Well, that's a first," Dib responded. "But you don't have to have to protect me. I can take care of myself." Even though Dib had said that, something told him that Zim just wasn't going to listen. 


	4. "Falling Ill"

Warning: My "healthy" love vs. "unhealthy" love theme is something you should be worried about. The slash itself is now more evident, and if the thought of Dib mentioning that he had almost been raped squicks you, leave. And Jazz has once again made an appearance! ^_^ (Why is that in the warning? ::shrugs:: I wouldn't know…)

Notes: Eh, I'll keep quiet. I still like this fic, just not as much as I used to. Mighta been because I wrote it for V-day. -_-; I never write anything for V-day, and yet here I am, typing up a fanfic that revolves around issues that is seen within the subject of "love," which, mind you, I do not believe conquers all. But, hey, I got a bigger response than I had expected, so…Here ya are! 

Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter Four:  
"Falling Ill"

Zim walked into his house with Dib, and Dib seemed to finally relax. "Dib…I'm still going to protect you."

"_How_, Zim?" Dib asked as he sat down on the couch. "You're an _Irken_. You can't go to skool with me because of that," Dib stated. "I can take care of myself," he added after a little bit, leaning against the couch.

"You call almost getting killed everyday _taking care of yourself_?"

"Jay will be out for you, too, you know. Not only was Jay abusive, but he was also possessive," Dib said quietly, shivering.

"I figured that… And, Dib, you forget I'm an Irken _Invader_. I specialize fitting in a different race," Zim stated, looking down at Dib, frowning when Dib's body shook slightly.

"What're you gettin' at?" Dib asked, raising an eyebrow. "I've seen the 'disguises' you Irkens use. I _don't_ think my skool will fall for it."

"Can't you have the least amount of confidence in me? Most of your race won't be able to pick me out, since they don't even really pay attention most of the time to us Irkens. I can easily get the same schedule of classes that you have, so I could protect you throughout most of the skool day," Zim began to explain.

"Zim…I don't know. Jay will try to corner the two of us, he thinks we're together. I don't want the whole skool to be against us…they already are against _me_," Dib said, crossing his arms over his chest, shivering once again.

"You really are scared to death of him, aren't you?" Zim asked softly, sitting next to Dib. 

"…Yes… I regret ever going out with him," Dib mumbled, looking down at the ground. "I've never…been very stable mentally since he came in my life. I generally don't like people, and for a while, I was afraid of you," Dib admitted, keeping his eyes locked on the ground.

"Do you…trust me in anyway, Dib? I won't protect you unless you trust me," Zim stated.

Dib remained silent and absently played with the sleeve of his trench coat. Zim could tell that Dib was thinking hard, since the human was biting his lip. "I…think I can," he said finally, breaking the somewhat uncomfortable silence that had hung over the two of them. "That doesn't mean I'll start to like you, though. I told myself never to like someone; I always get hurt in some way when I do that," Dib mumbled.

Zim just nodded in understanding before standing up again. "Computer!" he barked suddenly. The mechanical hum that seemed to fill the house grew louder. "Devise a human disguise for me. I shall be infiltrating the Dib-human's skool, give me the same schedule as him," he continued.

Dib just blinked as the computer shouted, "Processing…PROCESSING!" 

"I had no idea that your house was…"

"One giant computer? It is, pretty much," Zim stated.

"Disguise complete!" said the computer.

"It's probably just a pair of human contacts and a wig," Dib mumbled. Zim gave him a look.

"Computer, keep the disguise down in the lab." Zim turned to Dib. "Is there skool tomorrow?"

"No. Today is a Friday, the last day of the skool week. We don't have to go in until Monday," Dib answered. "I still say this is a bad idea, Zim…."

"I'm only doing what your mother told me to do. She really seems to want only the best for you, Dib. And she didn't seem to mind that you were forced to live with an Irken."

"She must have thought you'd be a lot like Jazz. If she had gotten to know you as well as I do, she wouldn't like you as much," Dib stated.

"Well, let's visit her tomorrow. You were really happy to see her today, and I simply can't stand to see you so frightened by a fellow _human_," Zim stated. "Maybe he won't be in that area on a day where there is no skool taking place," Zim mused.

"Zim… He lives right next to the skool," Dib said as he began to shiver again. Zim blinked and noticed that Dib wasn't looking so well at all, even though they were perfectly safe inside his house.

"Are you cold, Dib? You've been shivering a lot," Zim said, placing a hand on Dib's shoulder. Finally the two locked eyes since they had walked into the house, and Zim couldn't figure out what was going on behind Dib's. Something just didn't seem too right, but Zim wasn't about to say anything just yet. "I could get you something to eat," Zim offered, removing his hand.

"Stop it, Zim, you're scaring me," Dib mumbled. "I should be fine, don't worry about me. I just…don't feel too well, that's all."

Zim placed a hand to Dib's forehead, and then sighed. "You're starting to get a fever," he muttered. "You should get some sleep…I think you might need it," Zim ordered quietly, noticing how Dib's breath only seemed to quicken when he leaned closer to him. Was Dib still afraid of Zim? 

Dib got up from the couch and swayed a bit. "I…don't know if I can walk to our room, Zim," Dib said suddenly, taking a few uneasy steps and almost falling in Zim's arms. 

In an instant, Zim was by his side, his arm placed around Dib's waist. "I'll help you get there, if you want," he whispered.

However, the sudden closeness seemed to be too much for Dib to bare, since he had backed away from Zim as quickly as he could, almost falling flat on his face due to his inability to balance himself correctly. Zim caught him just in time. "This isn't good," he mumbled to himself, almost too soft for Zim to hear.

"Relax, Dib," Zim ordered as he helped the boy sit back down on the couch. "You'll only make yourself worse if you worry about it too much. This is a result from being too stressed," Zim stated, strangely calm. "Just get some sleep. I'll go get some blankets for you. You have to calm down and relax, all right? Nobody is going to hurt you as long as you're here."

Dib nodded slightly, his eyelids barely half-open. Suddenly, he managed to give Zim a look. "Why are you helping me?" he asked just as Zim walked away. 

Zim stopped and turned around, looking at the floor for a minute before looking Dib in the eyes. "Because I… I don't know, Dib-human," Zim responded, walking away again. When he came back, he had a few blankets in hand and began to carefully place it over Dib for him. "Because maybe I _have_ to," he whispered suddenly. 

Dib was about to respond to that, his mouth barely open when the computer shouted, "Incoming transmission from The _Massive_!" 

Zim and Dib looked at each other for a moment, then Zim turned his head away. "Computer, the screen in the living room should be fine…." He was relieved, not because the Tallests were actually contacting _him_ for once, but because they had interrupted a tense moment that was going to happen. 

"Hello, Zim," Purple said. "How's the whole living arrangement going?"

"Yeah, did Dib and you destroy anything yet?" Red asked.

"The Dib-human is in no condition to fight with me. In fact, he's fallen ill…"

"I'm _not_ sick, Zim!" Dib protested. "I was just having some…" he stopped once Zim glared at him.

"Even when you're sick, you like proving me wrong…" Zim muttered.

"It's a reflex," Dib mumbled.

"So you're stuck taking care of him?" Red asked, tilting his head. Purple smirked slightly when Zim nodded, and Dib just crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from the three of them.

"He should be alright by tomorrow, my Tallests," Zim said. "The Dib-human has obviously been stressed out in one too many ways, and his body is making itself sick. All he needs in some rest."

"Are you two getting used to each other?" Purple asked.

"No," Zim and Dib responded at the same time.

"Well, even if you aren't, Purple and I have decided that you two should, indeed, get married," Red stated. Zim just blinked at him.

"Yes, but don't worry, the marriage itself won't happen for a while now," Purple added.

Numbly, Zim nodded. "All right…"

Dib sighed, then shivered under the blanket. "I knew it wouldn't stay as a living arrangement…"

"I hope the two of you don't mind too much," Red said, smirking.

"We'll talk to you a bit later, Zim. Bye!"

"Bye, my Tallests," Zim said as he saluted them, then turned off the transmission. "I can't believe this…"

Dib pulled the blankets around him. "I'm sorry for all this, Zim. I bet you hate me now…" 

Zim looked at him. "Well, don't be too sorry. The Tallests were the one's who decided this for us, you had nothing to do with it."

"Not that, Zim. I meant my getting sick. Maybe…I should have been taking better care of myself," Dib said with a sigh. "Maybe I should just end it all," he mumbled, almost incoherently.

"No," Zim said forcefully, kneeling next to the couch. "If you do that, I'll have no one around to argue with. I don't mind taking care of you as much as you think, Dib. Get some sleep, alright?" Zim asked. He leaned over Dib and gently kissed him on the forehead. 

Dib looked up at him with wide eyes, then slowly relaxed into the couch, much to Zim's relief. "Fine. I'll try to. Happy?"

"Yes," Zim replied, smirking slightly. The human wasn't so bad, he mused to himself; he just needs a friend, someone to look out for him. Sighing slightly, Zim glanced down at Dib once more, noticing that he was fast asleep now. "I hope you feel better, Dib," he whispered to himself as he went down into this lab. 

Dib woke up a few hours later, still not feeling so well. He didn't even realize that he had been moved to the bed. Slowly, Dib sat up and put on his glasses. He had to get up to see if he could walk on his own. There was no way he was going to depend on Zim. Not after he…

Dib's hand flew to his forehead, to the exact place where Zim had kissed him. "Why did he do that?" Dib asked no one in particular. He shrugged it off. "I was sick…I could have just imagined it," Dib told himself as he slowly forced himself off the bed. His head swam for a moment, and he promptly collapsed back onto the bed to stop the room from spinning so damn fast. 

"Jazz, I can't let him handle this on his own!" Zim's voice shouted from where Dib guessed to be the living room. 'He's been hurt mentally and physically!"

"But, Zim, you're helping him is only going to make him worse. He'll become dependent on you, somehow! I'm trying to protect you from getting yourself into something you'll regret later on," Jazz responded.

Zim was silent for a moment, then said: "I don't care, Jazz. Dib has been abused and almost raped by this other human named Jay. I may _not_ hate Dib as much as people think I do, but he's still my enemy, and I'm protective of him! No one but _me_ is allowed to hurt him!" Zim continued.

Dib felt a sharp pain in his side. Maybe he wasn't feeling better like he had thought…. Though, he couldn't believe Zim. "I'm only the enemy to you?" Dib asked in a hoarse whisper. "Is that what you think of me, Zim?"

"Zim, he's _not_ your enemy anymore. You were never protective of Dib until _now_. And I still say you're getting mixed up into something you shouldn't even know about. Does Dib _want_ you to help him?" Jazz asked. 

"No, he doesn't want me to help him, but he's _letting_ me help him… Jazz, you know how I am. I'm not going to let someone hurt a person I'm just starting to understand. Dib may be my enemy, but he's also my friend."

"This is coming from _you_? Where's a tape recorder when you need one? _Zim_? Like a _human_?" Jazz asked in a cheerful tone.

"Jazz." Zim chuckled slightly to himself. "It is possible, I guess. I just hope that he'll be alright…"

"You worry too much, Zim. Just relax, maybe Dib will start to trust you. Hey, maybe he might even like the idea of you two being together."

"I don't know about that, Jazz. As long as he sees me as a friend and not a threat to his life, living with him shouldn't be too difficult. I'm going to see if he's awake yet," Zim stated suddenly.

Dib's eyes widened slightly, but he managed to lay back down and look as if he had been asleep the whole time. He heard Zim walk into the room, and felt the bed shift slightly when Zim sat down next to him. "It figures you'd pretend to be asleep, human," Zim said quietly.

Dib opened his eyes and gave Zim a half-hearted glare. "I thought we were on a real name basis," he mumbled.

"Look, Dib, I could call you whatever I want," Zim said as he got up, watching Dib as he sat up. "Do you think you can walk on your own?" Zim asked, seeming not to notice the difficulty Dib had just trying to sit up.

Dib once again tried to stand on his own. Once on his feet, he took a few wobbly steps, managing to keep his balance, although it surely didn't look it. "I'm going to need a little help," he muttered.

"Don't jump this time, okay? I'm _not_ going to hurt you," Zim said quietly, placing an arm around Dib's waist, and placing Dib's arm around his shoulders.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this…" Dib said as he and Zim walked out of the room together.

"You would kill me if you figured out how I got you in the bed…" Zim mumbled. 

"…You're right, I'll keep a mental note to kill you later," Dib stated. "If I can walk later," he mumbled to himself. 

Zim smirked and Jazz grinned as the two walked in together, just has Dib had mumbled. "Well, he must be feeling better at least, Zim. He's threatening your life again," Jazz said as he watched Zim help Dib sit down, then how they let go of each other almost instantly.

Zim sighed. "Yeah, I know… I'm waiting for him to live them out, though," Zim said.

Dib remained silent.

"You don't have to be afraid to talk to Jazz, Dib," Zim stated, giving him a look Dib couldn't figure out.

"I'm not afraid of him, Zim. It's just that…I'm trying to figure out why he's friends with you," Dib said softly, returning the look.

"I'm friends with Zim because…well…"

Zim smirked. "Jazz used to have a crush on me—OW!"

"You deserved that, Zim," Jazz said, glaring at Zim slightly as he recrossed his arms over his chest. Dib snickered slightly as Zim rubbed the side of his arm where Jazz had punched him.

"Let me ask you one thing, Jazz. Why would _anyone_ like Zim?" Dib asked, smirking.

Smirking back, Jazz replied, "I have no idea. For the most part, he's an insensitive jerk…"

Zim glared at Jazz. "Though, he also had a crush on Tallest Red…" Zim mumbled before Jazz could stop him.

Dib couldn't believe what he heard. "Zim…you really _do_ have foot-in-mouth disease. You don't know when to stop," Dib said as he leaned back into the couch.

"You grow used to it, Dib," Jazz said sagely. "Besides, if you actually shut him up, it's highly disturbing…"

Zim smiled. "Should you be going soon, Jazz? Gaz might kill you if you're late."

"Ha! I came here to find out why Dib wasn't in skool today for her. She's worried about him… I don't…like it when she's this worried," Jazz whispered. "And since she's supposed to be busy all day today, I decided to check up on him for her…"

"You really like her, don't you, Jazz?" Dib asked, blinking.

Slowly, Jazz nodded, sighing slightly as he did so. "She's just…been growing on me. I never expected to actually start to fall for her… Excuse me for sounding like Zim, but she's a _human_. I'm supposed to look down on the human race, and yet I…uh…have feelings for someone of that race. It's kind of hard to come to terms with…"

"Yeah, I guess it would be," Dib said softly, looking away. "She…she sort of likes you, you know… I don't really understand how much, but Gaz doesn't hate your presence like she does Zim's… But that's besides the point," Dib mumbled. "Tell her I wasn't in skool today because Zim wouldn't let me go…and then I did get sick…"

"You're still sick, Dib," Zim said, "but I'll make sure you'll be feeling better by Monday."

Jazz shook his head. "That's _so_ scary, Zim," he muttered. 

"Oh, good, so I'm not the only one who thinks that Zim's acting weird," Dib mumbled.

Zim glared at Dib, then Jazz. "You guys are so used to me being a cold person…I can be caring every once in a while, you know," Zim said.

"Yeah, sure, Zim. Well, I'll guess I'll be talking to you two later… I really should get going," Jazz said, heading towards the door. "Bye!"

"Bye," Zim and Dib called out as Jazz left.

Dib sighed and looked at Zim. "I hate being weak in front of people, but…Zim, I don't think I can stand up by myself," Dib muttered as he looked down at the ground. "I've never felt this weak before."

"You're body is trying to tell you to take it easy for a little while, Dib. Just stop worrying about every little thing, and maybe you'll start to feel better," Zim stated.

"Do you really see me as your friend, Zim?" Dib asked suddenly. He just had to ask; the question had been bothering him for the longest time. 

"Yes. Yes I do," Zim answered. "I know you won't see me as a friend for a while because you're probably afraid I'll end up like jay, but I don't mind. I'm going to make Jay pay for what he's done to you," Zim said in a threatening voice.

Dib sighed slightly, then leaned his head on Zim's shoulder in exhaustion, not caring about the Irken's reaction to him doing so. "I don't want you to do something like that for me, Zim," he whispered. "I know Jay better than you do—the guy will kill you if he finds out that we're going to be forced to marry each other," Dib continued.

"So he won't find out, plain and simple," Zim said. "I may have a big mouth, but I _do_ know when and when not to open it, sometimes."

"He'll find out one way or another, Zim. Jay's father works with mine. And if anything, Dad's got a bigger mouth than you…" Dib stated.

"You worry too much, Dib. It's not good for your health," Zim said. He turned his head so that he was looking at Dib. "Friends are supposed to protect friends, right?"

"Yes… But that doesn't mean you should protect me. Maybe I should just go back out with Jay…maybe then he'll leave me alone," Dib whispered.

Zim got up from the couch, causing Dib to almost fall face first into the cushions. "No, Dib! You can't do that! You _can't_ give in like that. You'll be miserable, and you'll just cause yourself more pain," Zim rambled off, pacing the length of the couch.

Dib sighed and lied down on the couch. "So? At least he won't humiliate me in front of his friends…"

"He'll do _worse_, Dib," Zim hissed. "Why can't you see that? Jay doesn't _love_ you, he doesn't _care_ about you. He sees you as an object, not a person! Dib, a person who wants to rape you, wants you to _fear_ him, cannot change into a kind and gentle person," Zim ranted.

"But what if I tried to change him?"

Zim glared at Dib. "If you want to throw away your life, so be it, Dib. I'm not going to stop you from making your life a living hell," Zim stated as he stomped out of the living room.

Blinking, Dib sighed and got up slowly, then walked after Zim, using the wall as support. "Why did he get so _mad_?" Dib asked himself as he stumbled along. His common sense was screaming at him, too, saying that he should be resting. Dib wouldn't give up, though, and he managed to make it to Zim's room. "Zim?" he asked shakily. "What's wrong?"

Zim looked up at him. "Dib, what the hell are you doing?" he asked as he dragged Dib down onto the bed. "You're supposed to be _resting!_"

"Why did you get so mad, Zim? Why can't I try to change Jay?"

Zim's antennae straightened out at the name. "I _don't_ want to see you get hurt. You and Jazz are the only friends I have, and I want to protect both of you. But you just keep saying that you basically want to give Jay exactly what he wants," Zim said, seemingly trying to control his voice. "I know you better than that; you deserve someone who cares about you, someone who isn't going to take you for granted. I'm _not_ saying that I would be a better choice for you, but I _am_ saying that you shouldn't do something like give up for your life."

Dib remained silent and let Zim continue. The way Zim was talking to him was comforting, and it all made sense. "All right, Zim, I won't even talk to Jay anymore. I'll…let you protect me," Dib said finally.

"Thank you, Dib. Now get some sleep," Zim ordered, slightly pushing Dib into a laying position. 

"I'll be glad to, Zim."


	5. Don't Say You Love Me

AN: Sorry it took me so long to get back to this fic. Laziness takes its toll on me sometimes. ^_^;; Anyway, I'm updating it! I hope you all enjoy.

Warning: I promised myself years ago I'd never write something like this…because I was in a situation much like the one Dib's going to be in when I was very young, but I know I can write it now. I won't spoil what the scene is, but I will say that the slash warning still exists. Angst runs free in this chapter, too! 

Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter Five:  
"Don't Say You Love Me"

The next time Dib awoke, he felt better and could finally walk on his own. He was so excited that he almost hugged Zim, who was sleeping beside him on the bed, but decided that Zim deserved the sleep. Zim had done a lot for him yesterday; a lot more than Dib expected him to do, actually. All Dib wanted to do now was thank Zim somehow.

Dib blinked as he noticed Zim's black notebook sitting next to him. "He musta fallen asleep before he finished writing…" Dib whispered as he picked up the book and placed it on the small nightstand besides the bed. Smirking slightly as he looked at Zim, Dib noted that Zim didn't generally sleep in a very comfortable position.

Slowly and quietly, Dib walked out of their room and sat down on the couch. Zim had acted peculiar yesterday. He seemed almost upset at the idea of Dib throwing his life away. Which, Dib noted to himself, was not what he really had planned on doing.

But why? Why did Zim seem to care about him so much? Why was Zim being so nice to him? Why was Zim acting this way? And why did Dib feel safe and secure around Zim? Zim had been out to kill him in those years they had known each other, what happened to Zim's idea that humans were weak creatures? Dib couldn't even begin to understand why Zim wanted to protect him so much; not with all these questions swarming around his mind as well. 

Dib remembered part of Zim's rant, when Zim had been going on how he was giving himself up. _I'm not saying that I would be a better choice for you, but I am saying that you shouldn't do something like give up your life._ The words repeated themselves in Dib's mind. What was Zim getting at?

Dib wanted to go and ask Zim himself, but something told him that Zim wasn't going to tell him no matter what. For a brief moment, while Dib had heard those words, his stomach had done a weird thing. It had been a sensation that he couldn't quite explain, but he hadn't liked it. Once Zim had finished, the only thing Dib had wanted to do was convince Zim that he had only been going temporarily insane. 

"There you are, Dib," Zim's voice said quietly. Dib turned to look at him, smiling slightly in return. "You walked out here by yourself?" Zim asked.

"Yep!" Dib exclaimed. He walked over to Zim and hugged him for a brief moment. "You were right, a little bit of sleep helped me a lot."

"I'm…glad you're feeling better," Zim said, smiling back at Dib. "Are you sure you're all better, though?" Zim asked, placing a hand on Dib's forehead, then removed it. "You don't feel warm."

"That's good," Dib said, still standing close to Zim. "I have to…thank you, Zim, some way or another," he continued. And it was the truth—not a soul had taken care of him like that in years, including his own father.

"Don't thank me, Dib. You're alright and that's pretty much all that matters right now," Zim said softly. "Besides, I haven't killed that bastard yet."

"Zim…you wouldn't kill him, would you?" Dib asked, backing away from Zim.

"No…death would be too good for him—and making him suffer from unimaginable pain _is_ promising, but I want him to get caught. I don't want him hurting you anymore, Dib."

"But…Zim, he won't get caught. He's managed to get _me_ in trouble, saying that I wanted him to…to…" Dib sighed, closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again, now sure that he could continue without sounding weak. "He said I _wanted_ to be raped, that I wanted him to—"

Zim placed a finger on Dib's lips, silencing him. "I understand, Dib. You don't have to force yourself to explain. I'll make sure he'll get caught, trust me on this," Zim said.

"I…I trust you, Zim. I don't know why or how, but I do," Dib responded quietly. "But I still want to thank you. You've been different towards me for the past few days and, for once, I don't feel so…alone…"

"Maybe the Tallests did something right for once by forcing us to live together…" Zim muttered.

Dib smirked. "You think so? At least they understand we may need more than a few weeks to get used to each other…"

"We were used to each other long before this happened, Dib. We just didn't know it yet," Zim said. "Though, it'll be long before we ever get to really know each other like Jazz and Gaz do…"

"They weren't enemies when they were forced to live together, Zim."

"True…but, Dib…I don't want you to think that I'm going to hurt you in anyway unless we fight," Zim stated.

"Zim…Please make sure that Jay doesn't touch me again. I know that you've all but promised me this, but…"

"I'll try to make sure, Dib," Zim said quietly. "Just make sure _you_ don't give in to him. If he does try to do something when I'm not around, promise me that you'll at least try to get away," Zim continued, taking hold of one of Dib's hands.

Dib didn't try to pull away, but he was feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I'll…try to," Dib responded, looking Zim in the eyes. "It's the least I can do until you let me thank you," he added, smiling slightly.

Zim squeezed Dib's hand for a second before releasing it. "That's good to know, Dib," Zim replied. "Are you hungry? I'll make you something for breakfast if you want me to…"

"Don't do that, Zim. I can make it myself," Dib stated, walking off into the kitchen. Dib could feel his face get warm as he suddenly realized what had just happened. _No way_, he thought to himself as he made his eggs. _Zim couldn't be acting that way on purpose. He can't be falling for me…can he? That would be so, so wrong…_

But you wouldn't mind it, would you? Another voice asked. Dib shook it off and continued to make his breakfast. He couldn't even be thinking like that. That was how he had gotten into that mess with Jay. Dib shuddered as he thought about the boy. Jay hadn't seemed that bad at all, when they first started out. A few harsh words here and there, that was all….

But then it slowly got worse. Those harsh words turned into slaps across the face; those slaps were changed into punches. And the punches went and turned into sexual abuse. The whole time Dib had convinced himself that Jay would stop and realize what he was doing was wrong. That moment of realization Dib so hoped for never came, and then Dib had almost been raped by Jay.

That was when Dib had broken up with him.

Broken up or no, Jay didn't stop calling him; he didn't stop harassing him. Whenever Dib left his house, Jay would be there, watching him. At skool, Jay acted as a jock would, throwing insults that cut deeper than the sharpest of glass shards, because Dib knew everything Jay told him was true. Or, at least, most of it was true. Now Jay was getting worse, and Dib knew there would be no way anyone would stop him.

Dib sat down at the table and ate in silence. Zim was probably somewhere down in his lab. The thought of Zim protecting him was incredulous, but Dib somehow trusted that Zim would at least try to keep Jay off of him. Something seemed off; something seemed very wrong—Jay hadn't found out where he was yet. Surely Membrane would have told Jay where he was by now….

"Dib?" Zim asked, being somewhat cautious. Dib just turned to face him. "You're not going to believe this, but…I think the Jay-human has found out about our arranged marriage," Zim continued, not even giving Dib a chance to speak.

Dib paled. "How do you know?" he asked.

"He tried to beat me up as I was walking home from Jazz's house last night when you were asleep…" Zim mumbled.

Dib felt his body relax a bit. "Did he follow you here?"

"No. I accidentally knocked him out," Zim responded.

Dib sighed in relief this time. "If he finds where I live now, he'll keep stalking me…"

Zim sighed as well. "I figured that he would try something of that nature."

Finished eating his eggs, Dib looked up at Zim. "Zim, I have to tell you something…"

"If you're still against me infiltrating your skool, Dib, I can understand why. I am _not_ going to let Jay hurt you, though…"

"I understand that, Zim. But…Jay's smart, and he'll _know_ you're an Irken. He's more observant than most humans," Dib said quietly.

"I don't care, Dib. I just want to make sure you'll be alright…" Zim stated. Zim walked over to Dib and smiled at him. "All you have to do is remain calm. Don't let anything he says or does get to you. What he wants is a reaction from you. Just don't react at all," Zim ordered.

"I'll try not to," Dib said as he got up and put his plate in the sink. "But, Zim, sometimes I have no choice but to react."

"He's tried to rape you repeatedly, hasn't he?" Zim asked suddenly.

"…"

"Well, Dib? Answer me," Zim ordered, trying to keep his voice calm. Dib could see through it, though.

"That was the reason why I broke up with him and the reason why I'm so afraid of him now. You do the math," Dib snapped finally, sighing shortly after he had done so. "You just won't understand, Zim…"

"Maybe I would if you tried to explain things to me! And why didn't you break up with him when he was showing signs of abuse, Dib?" Zim asked.

"Back off, Zim, just back off," Dib mumbled. "I thought he would change, Zim. But he didn't, and I realized he wasn't going to almost a little too late for comfort," Dib said, feeling his eyes sting a little as he remembered. "The day he first touched me in a sexual manner was also the same day I lost all of my pride. I broke up with him shortly after…"

"I want to kill him," Zim muttered. Dib merely looked at him, as if he hadn't heard Zim clearly. "I never thought I'd seriously want to kill a human. I may hate your race, Dib, but I've _never_ wanted a human dead like this before…"

"_Don't_ kill him, Zim," Dib ordered.

"Why _shouldn't_ I? Dib, I'm sure you don't still have feelings for him…" Zim stated, walking over to Dib.

"I don't even know what I feel for him, half the time. One minute I'm scared to death of him, the next I hate him, and soon after I want to protect him. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm insane," Dib admitted. "If you can't deal with that, Zim, we're going to have a tough time being together…"

Zim visibly flinched at that and sat down in a chair. "I…can't believe it. You're _dependent_ of him!" he hissed to himself.

"I am not!" Dib shrieked.

"Dib…Can't you see that I…?" Zim trailed off, looking down at the ground.

"You _what_, Zim? Hate Jay? I already knew that," Dib responded.

"Not that. I can't stand to see you do this to yourself…. I love you too much to let Jay win, but…if you can't see that, you're right: it won't work out," Zim said calmly. He got up from the table, unable to look Dib in the eye.

Dib looked at Zim with a stupefied expression. "Did you just say that you…?" Dib couldn't finish the question; Zim had glared at him as soon as he had begun to ask.

"You heard me," was all that Zim said as he turned away from Dib.

Dib wanted to reach out and have Zim stay, but he found himself unable to do so. He was too stunned. Slowly, Dib sunk to the floor. _He loves me_, he thought has he did so. _Loves me! Me!_ Dib couldn't believe it, there was no way he could. Zim wasn't supposed to love him. _Zim isn't supposed to!_ his mind shouted over and over.

Dib told himself to stand up, to sit down in a chair and not the cold kitchen floor. But he couldn't. He was too concentrated on trying to convince himself that Zim didn't love him. This was what got him into the mess with Jay! This was how all his abuse started before!

"Zim's different," Dib mumbled out loud to himself. "He won't hurt me; he _can't_ hurt me. I'm alright here. I'll be fine," Dib continued to say to himself. Pushing himself off the ground, Dib walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the door. "Zim! I'll be back in a few hours! I'm going to visit my mom…I should be fine," Dib called out as he placed his hand on the doorknob. 

"Wait, Dib! Let me go with you," Zim shouted back, but it was too late—Dib had already walked out of the house and shut the door. Zim did the only thing he could do and tried to follow Dib as best as he could. "I'm not going to let him get hurt…" Zim muttered.

Dib ran down the street, trying to get to the hospital as fast as he could. His vision was blurred by his tears. "He couldn't have meant it…" he muttered as he slowed down. Dib looked over his shoulder and gasped as he saw Jay further down the street, holding someone by his or her shoulders. 

"Where's Dib, punk?" Dib could hear Jay demand it from where he was. 

"I'm looking for him! Now _let me go_!" said the second person. 

"Oh, God," Dib hissed to himself as he felt his blood turn into ice again. "Zim! Jay! Let go of him! It's _me_ you want," Dib pleaded as he ran towards them.

"Dib?! What the hell are you doing?" Zim shouted at him.

Jay instantly dropped Zim and grabbed a hold of Dib. "So…Dib, will you take up my offer? Will you leave this puny Irken Invader?" Jay asked as he pushed Dib against the wall. "Maybe a kiss could get you to make up your mind…"

"Don't, Jay," Dib pleaded. "_I don't love you_," he hissed, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "I don't want you; I can't stand you; and I _won't be afraid of you anymore_," Dib mumbled. All was lost as Jay forced his mouth on top of Dib's; as he forced his tongue down Dib's throat.

Dib tried his hardest to not respond, but he had to. Dib knew that if he didn't kiss Jay back, Jay would hit him; so he kissed Jay back, close to tears. _Please let him stop, please let him stop_, Dib pleaded internally. But Jay didn't stop. And Zim…Zim wasn't doing anything. _Please, Zim…stop him…_ Jay only stopped kissing him to smirk triumphantly at Dib.

"Looks like your lover boy doesn't care about you as much as you thought," Jay said with a chuckle. "He's running away, leaving you to me…"

"No…No! Zim, don't leave me here with him!" Dib shouted, but once again Jay cut him off, his hands taking a possessive hold on Dib, dragging Dib into an alleyway. Dib could finally let his tears win and he was crying freely now. He didn't want this, but he couldn't stop Jay. He couldn't do anything; Jay had him right where he wanted him.

__

Zim…I thought you said you loved me, Dib thought. _Please…don't let him do this to me. Don't let this happen. Oh, God, don't let this happen. _But it was happening. Jay…Jay had won. Dib slumped in defeat. _He has me and I can't get free._

"What's wrong, Dib? Can't stand the thought of Zim just letting you go like that?" Jay asked tauntingly, his hands now trying to pull off Dib's shirt. 

Suddenly, Dib realized what Jay was doing to him and began to struggle. _He hasn't won yet! Don't let Jay win!_ Dib shouted to himself, trying to get away. "I'm _not_ going to give up on Zim so easily," Dib hissed, somehow pushing his fears away.

Jay punched him in the jaw. "Don't you dare make me mad!" 

Dib was about to retort and struggle even more when his shirt was ripped, giving him the chance to back away from Jay. Dib closed his trench coat around his upper torso. "Leave me alone," he spat out at Jay. "Don't ever touch me again! You don't _love_ me!" Dib shrieked, his tears now returning. "You'll _never _get what you want, Jay!" 

Jay glared at Dib. "I always get what I want," he hissed. "And I want us to get together. C'mon, Dib, I know you want me! I'm the only guy who'll love you the way I do," Jay said as he walked up to Dib.

Slowly, so as Jay wouldn't understand what was going on, Dib tried to force his anger down and let Jay walk to him. "You'll never love me the way Zim does," Dib hissed as he kneed Jay in the groin. He didn't even look back as he ran towards his house, still crying.

"How could he…leave me like that?" Dib panted. "How can he say…he loves me…when he didn't even protect me?"

Zim jumped down from the roof and landed in front of Dib. "I didn't want to, but I went to the police. They saw everything. Jay should be locked up for good, now…" Zim stated.

Dib glared at Zim. There was no way he was going to be relieved to hear that; at least, he wouldn't show it. "How _could_ you?" he hissed as he walked past Zim.

"Look, I'm sorry, Dib, but…" Zim stopped talking as Dib suddenly leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. "Let me get you home," Zim said, walking next to Dib.

"Don't _touch_ me," Dib growled. There was no way he was going to be able to hold off his urge to cry himself to sleep. "Don't _ever_ let me get touched like that again. Don't ever…leave me like that, Zim. I may not be in love with you right now, but there was no way in hell I loved Jay. He's done so much to me that it makes me sick to think about it all," Dib mumbled. 

"Let's go home, Dib. Can you walk?" Zim asked, moving closer to Dib.

"Stop it, Zim," Dib ordered, wiping away his tears. "I'll go '_home_' when I feel like it," Dib muttered. "Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that, Dib," Zim said softly. "I feel horrible for leaving you there, and I can see why you're mad at me, but please, forgive me. I needed to get him caught in some way or another. Plus, I couldn't stand seeing you kiss him back like that. For a second I believed you had made your choice…"

"…I didn't _want_ to kiss him back!" Dib spat. "Just leave me alone, Zim…"

"I can't, Dib! I'm trying to _apologize_ here for leaving you! But you seemed as if you wanted him…I was leaving you to him, then you shouted something and I went for the police. We wanted to stop him, but it seemed as though you had it under control and finally got away from him. I followed you, Dib. Please, forgive me."

"…No," Dib said forcefully, walking away from Zim. "I will never, _ever_ forgive you for what you've done."


	6. He's Like a Rose

AN: This is the last chapter! Yep. Last chapter of Love Does Not Cause Pain. ^_^ Don't let me ruin the ending for you…just take note that it's now around Valentine's Day in the fic (because I wrote this whole thing around Valentine's day. O_o). Just to let you know, I had tons of fun writing this fic, especially this chapter. 

Warning: OOCness. I think that's all. 

Disclaimer: I feel no need to write an explanation. That word should give you enough clues.

Love Does Not Cause Pain  
Chapter Six:  
"He's Like a Rose…" 

Zim sighed. It had been a few weeks since Dib had his last encounter with Jay, and Dib was still very upset over what had happened. Well, Zim never was able to speak with Dib, but Zim could tell that he was upset. Zim hated all of this so much; Dib was supposed to be _happy_ now that Jay was gone! But…he was still scarred from what had happened, and Dib hadn't forgiven Zim at all (hence why Zim hasn't been able to speak with Dib).

How many times had Zim tried to explain himself to Dib in the past weeks? It had to be at least twenty times, and every time Dib pretended not to hear him, or just walked away. Zim wasn't going to be able to handle Dib's silence much longer. This was slowly driving the alien insane. Jazz had suggested things to him that he could do, but Zim figured that no matter what he did, Dib was going to ignore him.

Though, Zim also decided that it wouldn't hurt too much to try. The human holiday Valentine's day was tomorrow, and Zim had done research on it. Like all human holidays, Zim thought it was stupid, but he was going to try it out. He knew that there was plenty of things he could do to show Dib how he felt, but he wanted to do something simple; something that would be easy to do yet have Dib understand how strongly Zim felt for him.

Dib was visiting his mother again, and Zim figured this was the perfect time to do what he had to do. Zim almost had no plan, but he knew he would think of something. Zim walked down the street and walked past a flower shop. He was about to pass it by, but thought better of it. Sighing, Zim forced himself to walk into the store.

This was going to be _much_ harder than he thought.

There were so many flowers to choose from, and Zim had _no_ idea which flowers Dib liked the most. Suddenly, Zim was beginning to think this was a horrible, horrible idea. He couldn't do this, at least, not without some sort of plan. Then Zim shook his head; he was being silly! He was an Irken Invader, he could do this.

With the new vote of confidence, Zim examined all of the flowers, trying to find one that would stand out. He wasn't going to get Dib something ordinary, but he also wanted something that wasn't _too_ outrageous.

"I _hate_ being picky," Zim mumbled.

Dib walked into his mother's room and sighed. She wasn't doing too well, he could tell by the way she was breathing. "Hey Mom," he greeted as he kissed her on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than usual," she replied. "Your father was actually here today. The man hasn't been takin' care of himself…"

"He's trying to find the cure, you know that," Dib said quietly.

"And how are _you_ feeling? You haven't been the same since Jay was taken away," his mother observed.

Dib remained silent. "How do _you_ think I'm feeling?" he countered suddenly.

"You look depressed, as if something happened and you don't know how to fix it. Actually, you look worse than your father. What happened?"

"It's just that, well…the last time Jay had tried to force himself on me, Zim didn't…do anything to stop him. According to Zim's story, he had went off to get the police, but…"

"Dib, he went to get the police. He was trying to get help for you, so he really did do something," she pointed out. "Zim was trying to protect you."

"No he wasn't, Mom! He wouldn't have left me there if he was trying to protect me," Dib said, looking down at the ground. "He…didn't stop Jay."

His mother sighed. "He didn't stop Jay because he might have thought you had wanted him. Dib, you have to realize that Zim was only trying to do what was best for you. When you shouted out to him like you told me you had, he realized that he needed to get help and fast."

"…but couldn't he just have tired to get Jay off of me?" Dib asked.

"Yes, but he might have known that if he had done _that_, Jay would try to rape you repeatedly. Maybe…maybe Zim wanted to stop you from getting hurt in the future," his mother stated. "At least, that was what I could gather when he visited me by himself," she mumbled.

Dib blinked. "Zim visited you?"

"About a few days after Jay had been caught. Zim snuck in during the middle of the night. Scared the hell outta me. But he really needed to talk to someone about what'd happened, because—at the time—you wouldn't even look at him."

Sighing, Dib looked down at the ground again. "Did he talk to you about anything else?"

"No…but he sounded rather upset that you wouldn't notice him. I think he cares about you more than he'd like to let on. He seems to depend on your opinions a lot, and he sure was upset and angry with Jay…. I don't think he went ten minutes without mentioning how much he wanted to kill the boy," she stated.

"Before I ran out of the house that day, Zim told me…that he loved me. I couldn't believe it; in fact, I still can't believe it. It doesn't seem right for him to love me. We're being _forced_ to marry one another, I figured he'd hate every minute of it."

"Do you love him back?"

"…What?" Dib asked, blinking at his mother.

"Do you love him back?" she repeated.

Slowly, Dib shook his head. "No, I don't think I do."

"There's your problem right there. You and your father both think too much. You use your mind way too much for matters that should be dealt with by the heart. Forget thinking that you love him; try actually _feeling_ it," his mother ordered.

"I forgot _how_ to feel, mother…" Dib whispered.

"No you haven't, Dib. You're afraid of loving Zim back, that's all there is to it," his mother said. "You know that he loves you, and your heart knows exactly how you feel, but you're afraid Jay did more to you than you think. Sometimes you walk in here, smiling wide as can be, then you met him. I've never seen you smile since you've met Jay…at least, not a real one."

"Nothing takes away the horror I've been through, Mom," Dib stated strongly, trying to keep eye contact with his mother.

"Zim does. You were almost truly happy that first day you brought him here. You may not realize it yet, but you've forgiven Zim for something you shouldn't have been mad at him over in the first place. Zim said he would protect you, and he has in his own way," she explained.

"But…he doesn't know that. I don't think I could love him back, Mom, not after what I've been through…"

"Yes, you can, Dib. Stop thinking negatively and start smiling again. Don't let what happened in the past get to you; get over it and move on. If you can't move on by yourself, let Zim help you move on. I'm sure he'll be glad to help."

Dib sighed. "I don't think he'll want to help me, not after how I treated him," he said quietly, looking off to the side.

"At least try, Dib. If not for yourself, then for me. I'm not going to be around much longer, and you know that, Dib. My only request I have is for you to be happy," she said quietly. "Please, Dib, give Zim a chance."

"…I'll try. I guess I'll be going know, I don't want Zim to worry about me," Dib said. He kissed his mother goodbye.

"See? You think of him all the time," she said with a smirk.

Dib smiled at her for a little bit, shaking his head slightly. "Whatever, Mom…" he said, causing his mother to laugh. "I'll come in and see you tomorrow, alright?"

"That's fine. Just bring Zim."

"Fine, I will. Bye," Dib said, walking out of the room and out of the hospital. He had spent a long time in that room, more than he had intended to. Somehow, Dib knew that it was okay.

"Maybe I should talk to him…" Dib whispered to himself. _'Please, Dib, give Zim a chance,'_ he heard again in his mind. Well, he was going to do as his mother asked. It couldn't hurt to try, could it?

Dib walked into his house and blinked when he couldn't find Zim. "Figures," he muttered as he walked into their room. Something caught his eye, though. On the table next to his side of the bed, Dib saw a solitary rose—a rare, soft blue one—and a note next to it. Dib blushed and looked around. "That _can't_ be for me," he mumbled.

Though, that didn't stop him from picking up the rose and note. The rose was a different shade of blue that most of the roses Dib had seen in his life, and the note was clearly addressed to him. "I'm going to kill him when he gets home," Dib muttered as he opened up the note. Dib scanned it, noticing that it had been written in Zim's uneven handwriting.

Dib breathed in and read the letter out loud: " 'Dear Dib, I know we're not really on speaking terms right now, but I had to find some way to get my emotions out.' Well, that's obvious," Dib mumbled. " 'I didn't _want_ to leave you with Jay, but I _had_ to get the authorities. I said I had wanted him caught, didn't I? Seeing him kiss you like that sickened me, and to know that you reacted the way you had saddened me. I never wanted to see something like that happen to you; you looked so pained, so betrayed.

" 'At first, I thought that you were kissing him back because you still felt something for him, but then I saw your tears. I wanted to kill him for the pain he caused you, but I knew that I, too, would get in trouble with the law. Please forgive me for not trying to get him off of you; I know I had said I was going to protect you, and I failed in doing so when I ran to the police. But, in a way, I had also kept my work: I protected you from future attacks from Jay that way.

" 'I do love you, Dib, but I'm not about to call you 'mine' until you can trust me again. I think you're afraid that I'll be like Jay—but Dib, I won't. I could never touch you like Jay did, even though you are a beautiful person. I don't want to hurt you, though in the past I did want to. But…things change, just like people change.' " 

Dib stopped reading for a moment. He needed to take all this in. When Zim wrote this letter, he seemed to change into a different person. Sighing slightly, Dib read on:

" 'Tomorrow, as you know, is Valentine's Day. I know I'm a bit early with my gift, but I couldn't wait to hand it to you. I needed you to know how I felt. That blue rose was the only one there, and the flower itself reminded me so much of you. A rose, believe it or not, is a very delicate thing. It needs the right conditions to grow beautiful and strong, and if the conditions are wrong, it'll never live up to its beauty. Just like how you need the right to conditions to love and trust me, Dib, and you are just as delicate as the rose, if not more.

" 'But you're strong and so is the rose. A rose protects itself with its thorns, so that one can only admire it from a distance, or otherwise risk getting cut as she or she tries to hold it close. You put up a protective wall around your heart, Dib, so that there is no way anyone can get to it. But, like the rose, Dib, you _can_ be loved, like the rose, and someone can hold you close—as long as you are handled with a great amount of care.

" 'I hope that, one day, I'll be able to hold you like I can hold the rose—without having to be afraid of getting hurt. Love, Zim,' " Dib finished finally. Dib sat down and held the rose carefully, then found a small vase to put it in, adding water.

"Does he really mean all that?" Dib whispered to himself, rereading the letter once, then twice. He felt drawn to the words, and every time he reread the note, his heart did a weird jump. It was so strange that Zim would compare him to a rose, since no one has ever done that before.

"Dib? Are you in there?" Zim called out, sounding a bit cautious.

Without a word, Dib ran up to Zim and hugged him for all he was worth. Zim blinked, then hugged Dib back briefly.

"What was that for…?" Zim asked.

Dib grinned, then pointed to the letter. "Who are you and what have you done to Zim? I don't think you are capable of something like this…" he stated, blushing lightly as he glanced over the letter once more, causing Zim to chuckle quietly.

"I felt very—I don't know—_introspective_ when I wrote that…" Zim turned to look Dib in the eye. "But, Dib, I meant every word."

"I figured that," Dib said softly, his blush growing. "And Zim, I forgive you. I don't know if I feel the same way, but…Mother said to give you a chance," Dib continued in a soft voice, looking down at the floor.

Zim smirked. "I'm…glad you forgave me. You're silence was driving me mad!" 

Dib chuckled, then slowly frowned. "You were right, though. I _am_ afraid to love you back. I just don't want to get hurt again. Maybe…maybe, when I'm older, Zim, I'll be able to, but…right now…"

Zim shook his head. "I understand, Dib. I don't mind waiting…too much," Zim stated. "Just don't keep me waiting _too_ long. I'm a very impatient Irken."

"I know you are, Zim," Dib said quietly, looking Zim in the eyes. "And…I'll promise to love you…as long…" Dib sighed and closed his eyes for a second before opening them again, trying to keep them clear from tears, "as long as I never get hurt by you."

"I would never hurt you, you know that, Dib. And I would never rush you into anything; I would _never_ force myself on you. I'm nothing like Jay, but there are times when I will seem like an insensitive jerk…"

Dib laughed. "Yeah… Though, I would be afraid if you were to be this romantic all the time. It's so—unlike you."

"Don't I know it. I had Jazz read over that letter and he sorta just stared at me…then went, '_You_ wrote this?!'" Zim stated, chuckling quietly.

"I don't blame him. I had to reread it a few times… But, Zim, I _do_ know one thing."

"What's that, Dib?"

Dib kissed Zim softly, wrapping his arms around Zim's neck to hold him close. He could feel Zim pull him closer as well as he deepened the kiss. Once they stopped, Dib blushed slightly and said: "To quote my favorite song on my Nickelback CD: 'Now I know why I hide my love from you some days/No I don't mind keepin' this bottled inside me/You came along and tore this wall down around me/Looks like you found me'." 

Zim shook his head. "You listen to that CD too much… You fall asleep listening to it!"

"Oh, so you noticed?" Dib asked. "Aren't you glad that I don't sit here and sing along with it all the time?"

"Yeah…" Zim responded, smirking.

"Good, because I _used_ to do that," Dib responded.

"You do have a pretty good voice though…"

"Stop flirting. It's scary," Dib commented. 

"If I recall, it was _you_ who kissed me," Zim said with a smirk. "I think I'm now allowed to flirt with you."

"Do you want to come with me to visit mom tomorrow?" Dib asked, loosening his hold around Zim's neck. "She'll be very happy to know that we're talking once again…"

"Yeah, she would. I'll be glad to go with you." 

And that's it! Sorry it took me a while to get around to this… I had a distraction…::points to "Whatever Tomorrow Brings…":: I wasn't even allowed to type things up because that fic ruled my spare time. @_@ But, anyway…Thanks for reading' this and I hope you leave a review. ^_^


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